I want you to know that I’m not afraid of love. I’m afraid of losing love, of him not really loving me. I guess I’ve learned to expect chaos. I’m scared of being broken.
I wish you understood.
Just so you’re aware. If I make plans with you, and have to cancel last minute, it would be great if you didn’t take it so personally. Here’s why, if I made plans with you, chances are its because I care about you, enjoy your company, and the plans sounds like they’d be fun. When our plans arise, I’m still excited, I promise you this. But since MS is often unpredictable and hackles all my energy, I may have to cancel (even if I don’t want to). The reality, doing so makes me feel bad; canceling makes you feel bad too. When you take it personally, you’re only making yourself hurt unnecessarily, leaving me to feel bad for two reasons…Think about it.
I’ll probably never be happy with the way I look. Feelings can be utterly exhausting I suppose.